Mother’s Day, a day to honor and bless the important women in our lives
Brunches are announced, balloons are on display, jewelry is on discount and chocolate desserts are made extra special. It’s a traditional “holiday” celebrated across the U.S. However, not every Mother’s Day is happy. There are many who are struggling today. Some because they have lost their mothers, some because they are estranged from or distant from children, some because they have never had the opportunity to become a mother. The day is so publicized there is no escaping it. So how do you cope with the sordid feelings that emerge when Mother’s Day is not the commercialized, “happy”, version?
Acknowledge your feelings
Allow yourself to admit that it is not a happy day for you this year. Life does not always turn out the way we plan it. If this is not the best Mother’s Day for you, admit it, at least to yourself. Try to embrace the feelings, even if they are uncomfortable. Fighting against your feelings steals more energy than facing them. It’s okay to be sad, scared, angry or even empty. These feelings are exaggerated on a day like this. You will normalize again.
Identify what is most important to you
It’s okay to say no to some things in order to say yes to the right things. To take good care of yourself on this day, ask yourself if you need to be alone or with others. What will bring you comfort, joy or heal your soul? Will your usual routine be helpful or something completely different?
Take the day slow
Do what you need to, what you want to, when you want to. Don’t follow the clock. Throughout the day, tune inward to see what you need or want. This may be a day to self soothe, to unplug, to refuel. However, choose the activities that will bring your life energy and not dwell in sadness, anger, or upset. Play music, get outdoors, read a good book, take a nap, browse the stores, walk the dog.
Honor the life of those who have influenced you
Perhaps it’s not your mother, maybe others have had an impact on your life in a positive way. Reflecting on the people who shape you and what you learned from them can be very meaningful on a special day. What can you do to honor the important women in your life? Cook their favorite food, engage in an activity you enjoyed together, tell stories about them, go through photos, write in a journal all the best memories you can think of.
Turn toward spirituality and faith
If you live a life of faith, lean on it. Many people find comfort, meaning and purpose on their spiritual path. Light a candle, read some inspiration, watch a podcast, go to service or simply walk in nature. Sitting in the quiet time of your heart and your faith can be very healing.
Cherishing what you have that you enjoy is always a good frame of mind. Remind yourself of the special people you have known, the memories that have been created, and the big or small moments that surround your life that go unnoticed the majority of the time. Today, notice the sunset, the skyline, the sound of laughter, the quiet space, the taste of something delicious. Be mindful in the moment and appreciate all that brings pleasure or contentment.
In the end, we have moments and memories. Be sure that each day you are creating meaningful memories for yourself and others. Today is a day to stay present to yourself, heal your soul and reset in order to show up your best in the days to come and continue to be a presence in the lives of others in a manner that makes a difference.
In honor of you today!
If you are, or someone you know is, in need of support, feeling lost, overwhelmed or depressed, we at Barrington Behavioral Health and Wellness are here to help.
Dr. Denise Casey, Psy.D.
CADC, NBCCHT, ACH, CCT
Dr. Denise Casey is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with a Certification in Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counseling and a National Board Certification in Clinical Hypnosis. She is also Certified in Cognitive Therapy and has studied addictions and hypnosis at advanced levels.
Her general experience in working with young adults to seniors has equipped her to deal with a wide variety of issues. Dr. Casey is highly skilled, deeply compassionate, and presents a very casual and caring atmosphere.
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